You & Me.

It's a yellow slide
And our matching swings,
Four bare feet
Dangling in the wind.
We carved our names
in the backyard tree.
I'd lock you out the truck.
You still haven't forgave me.
We'd spend our days
With kickballs, calling for cars.
We'd spend our nights
Counting fireflies in our jars.

And nothing mattered
But our scraped knees
Staying on the block
And climbing trees
And nothing mattered but you and me.

Now we're so far away
From that sixth avenue heartbreak
Remember the paper mistletoe
You refused to take?
I spent my life
Watching you be the best
Now you're going to college
And I've already left
My last day
I felt so guilty
I knew I abandoned you
Hope you forgive me
Guess we'll never spend
Our days again as carefree
As our childhood days
Trying to climb that tree

And nothing matters
But your phone calls
Making sure you're okay
And random trips to the mall
And nothing matters
But being your best friend
And being the older sister
You can believe in
And nothing matters but you and me.

One

You were the one.
You were the one who let me down.
You were the one.
You were the one who I never found.
I broke my own heart, baby,
The day I let you let me down.

You are the one.
You are the one who can't move on.
You are the one.
You are the one who wrote this song.
I walked away,
But you were the one opening the door.

I can't ever say I regret a damn thing.
I did you right.
I did you right,
When you couldn't see it was killing me.
You saw too late.
You see it too late.

You were the one.
You were the one with the sharp tongue.
You were the one.
You were the one, and now I'm left with no one.
Baby, I wish it was my fault
That I had to leave you.

Sublime.

I've been praying for these to be the words
To bring you back to life
No verb, no sound, gives you justice
There is nothing I can write

But maybe a few more lines will spill out
Maybe I can make it speak
Of your jacket, your car, the way you are
The one night of sleep

I want to remember your voice
The way you opened doors
You walked right through
Nothing stopped you
And now it's all gone
I want to see your eyes again
Your smile woke me everyday
Our whispers, the liquor
I always miss it
When the Sublime vinyl plays

I cannot bring you back to life
With every ink stain
Nothing compares to your soul, your being
I can't write away this pain.

Bleed blue.

Breakin' through these mountains fast
A steal away from buried past
When everything whispers his lost name
When colors scream and people blame
To take it back, would it be I
Who points fingers, let words fly?
I can not help but breathe in guilt
I can not help but miss the voice,
his hands,
his shirt.
I can not help but miss him
I can not help them.
If red can scream, it yells in you
It breaks my skin
As you bleed blue
I pray in your syllables
Every voice answers
I hear your name--face
I'm lost, I lost the chase
I can not, will not, escape your past
Weaving through these mountains, fast.

Shadowplay.

Slow dances in the dark
Shadows play across the sheets
Recalling old broken hearts
Being burnt out by the heat
A firelight--a soft glow
A thousand sharp points ahead
We take our drags, a thousand slow
Keep the lights off on our bed

Take me now, take me please
I swear this is all I ever need
A night drive and my best friend
Let's promise to not let this end
I swear you are all I ever need
Take me please.

You stay.

You're taking me slow
Through the turns.
You're playing with my fire
Without leaving me with burns.
I say I can't sleep
So you stay.
You're the beads between my palms
Pressed together as I pray.

I thought you'd never follow,
But through these thorns and fire
You're walking right beside me
Holding my hand--You stay, you stay.

I broke promises,
That may be,
But your picture stand still
On my nightstand as I sleep.
I may run
Like horses free,
But you're my stable; you're my home,
The place I need to be.

I thought you'd drown in my tears,
But you're pulling me onshore.
I'm waves upon your beach.
Loving me--You stay, you stay.

You're everything I'll ever need.

listen.

It's not like you weren't there
Pounding on my guilt
You sang me slow old songs
I hold on--you're my rock

I keep asking, staying angry
But I can't say these words to you
How dare I question your judgement?
You're who I came from

But why can't you sacrifice?
Why can't you share?
Why am I so alone?
Why can't you understand?

You've never seen me
You've never ever listened
I'm blinded by your light
Why are you the only one right?

I keep telling myself to suck it up
You've left me so alone
I guess I'm old enough
To let you go, but I still listen.

Let yourself go.

You never know really what you want
So you want it all
You talk until everyone has heard it all
How's it like falling?

You just want to get high tonight
You won't let yourself go tonight

Is it your fault you're so alone?
I can't decide which side to take
You never want to stay when you're not alone
You're stuck in this last past

You just let me go alone tonight
Why won't you just wake up tonight?

It's not the same, I'm torn two ways
You're waking up next to me
Is this everything you've wanted--
A life filled with nothing important?

Now you shut more doors and close
Those eyes behind you
We're staring at something we can't see
Show who you're meant to be

You just need to wake up tonight
Let yourself go out tonight

grammar.

It's a sudden shock
Clear blue
Pure
A deep sign
It holds me
Close
Closer
I fall around us
More than page breaks
Punctuation
And pure ink
More than verbs
Nouns, clauses
I close off

blunt.

it's undermining every breath i take
it's the light in my eyes as i wake
this car crash of a heart
it won't even start
pushing back the shower curtain
it's sitting there, it's pulling open
i pretend not to see
what you're telling me

and i am running farther than i should from you
and i am praying in every moment i'm missing you
i'm missing you

i'll pretend
and i'll wait
for you to really hit my face
and i'll
i'll forget to see
how everything is a memory

bring me back
those couches and the wine
the classes and our time
his wrinkled nose
and your house you chose
bring me back
your smile and your breath
i can't handle death
i though you knew

you took with you everything
we can't even breath
you're haunting me

bring me back
the projects and the green
the movies and my dream
the turntable
and peeled beer lables
bring me back
your smile and your breath
i can't handle death
i thought you knew
i thought you knew

well now you know
now you know
i'm missing you
i'm missing you
i am running farther than i should from you
i am praying in every moment i'm missing you
i'm missing you

mirror

turn around and let's realize
you're the only one to make me stay
i've been running everywhere
but the right way
and you're the only one to really love me at all
reflecting back onto that orange lake of ours
and looking through steamed windows
you're the only one to really love me at all

so look right into my eyes
you're standing there
i'm everything you have made me be
it's something i can't explain
it's so different now
those words seem so plain to me
but nothing could be more true
you've made me believe

i've broken every step to get here
i've taken every bridge back
but now i'd burn them all down for you
there were too many memories before
but now everything is so brand new
you're the only one to really love me at all

so look right into my eyes
you're standing there
i'm everything i've wanted for you
it's something i can't explain
it's so different now
those words seems so plain to me
but nothing could be more true
you've made me believe

and i see those prayers in your eyes
these aren't lies
and they aren't lines that just sound good
i'm on my knees
praying please
don't let this past become the only truth

so look right into my eyes
you're standing there
i'm everything you will ever need
it's something i can't explain
it's so different now
those words seem so plain to me
but nothing could be more true
you've made me believe

Worse than Rain

I pray for the rain to hit your window just right
I'm waiting for the day Noah tells you your lines
I'm dressed all out, hoping you won't hold back
It keeps me around knowing you won't ever say that

I've been waiting on the lights and my face to make you say
The words that make Allie Hamilton stay
I've kept myself around waiting for you to admit you love me
If only I'd known you needed a few beers to say the sweetest things

I swear Donne couldn't of ever been alone
I'm breaking the words down, pretending you'd written the poem
I'll spend every day just wishing for that moment in time
It'll pour down rain, and you'll tell me the perfect line

We spend our lives falling in love with fantasies.
I probably spent all my romance on frogs rather than kings.
Now, I'm trying to convert a atheist into a catholic saint
I'm committing sins to make even Heathcliff faint

I'd break the rules I've had since I was four-years-old
To chase you down, to have something I've never known.
It's sad that all we want is what we will never have
What's more sad is I understand, but I still want it so bad.

I'll chase you.
Baby, I'll chase you.
It's your job, but I'm always standing still.
I'll chase you.
You're suppose to run too.
I'm suppose to leave, but I never want to.

It's worse than rain
On a car
Watching planes

It's worse than anything.

I'll chase you.
Baby, I'll chase you.
Even though I know I'm not supposed to.
I'll chase you.
Even though you're supposed to.
I'll chase you so you won't ever have to.