You stay.

You're taking me slow
Through the turns.
You're playing with my fire
Without leaving me with burns.
I say I can't sleep
So you stay.
You're the beads between my palms
Pressed together as I pray.

I thought you'd never follow,
But through these thorns and fire
You're walking right beside me
Holding my hand--You stay, you stay.

I broke promises,
That may be,
But your picture stand still
On my nightstand as I sleep.
I may run
Like horses free,
But you're my stable; you're my home,
The place I need to be.

I thought you'd drown in my tears,
But you're pulling me onshore.
I'm waves upon your beach.
Loving me--You stay, you stay.

You're everything I'll ever need.

listen.

It's not like you weren't there
Pounding on my guilt
You sang me slow old songs
I hold on--you're my rock

I keep asking, staying angry
But I can't say these words to you
How dare I question your judgement?
You're who I came from

But why can't you sacrifice?
Why can't you share?
Why am I so alone?
Why can't you understand?

You've never seen me
You've never ever listened
I'm blinded by your light
Why are you the only one right?

I keep telling myself to suck it up
You've left me so alone
I guess I'm old enough
To let you go, but I still listen.

Let yourself go.

You never know really what you want
So you want it all
You talk until everyone has heard it all
How's it like falling?

You just want to get high tonight
You won't let yourself go tonight

Is it your fault you're so alone?
I can't decide which side to take
You never want to stay when you're not alone
You're stuck in this last past

You just let me go alone tonight
Why won't you just wake up tonight?

It's not the same, I'm torn two ways
You're waking up next to me
Is this everything you've wanted--
A life filled with nothing important?

Now you shut more doors and close
Those eyes behind you
We're staring at something we can't see
Show who you're meant to be

You just need to wake up tonight
Let yourself go out tonight

grammar.

It's a sudden shock
Clear blue
Pure
A deep sign
It holds me
Close
Closer
I fall around us
More than page breaks
Punctuation
And pure ink
More than verbs
Nouns, clauses
I close off

blunt.

it's undermining every breath i take
it's the light in my eyes as i wake
this car crash of a heart
it won't even start
pushing back the shower curtain
it's sitting there, it's pulling open
i pretend not to see
what you're telling me

and i am running farther than i should from you
and i am praying in every moment i'm missing you
i'm missing you

i'll pretend
and i'll wait
for you to really hit my face
and i'll
i'll forget to see
how everything is a memory

bring me back
those couches and the wine
the classes and our time
his wrinkled nose
and your house you chose
bring me back
your smile and your breath
i can't handle death
i though you knew

you took with you everything
we can't even breath
you're haunting me

bring me back
the projects and the green
the movies and my dream
the turntable
and peeled beer lables
bring me back
your smile and your breath
i can't handle death
i thought you knew
i thought you knew

well now you know
now you know
i'm missing you
i'm missing you
i am running farther than i should from you
i am praying in every moment i'm missing you
i'm missing you

mirror

turn around and let's realize
you're the only one to make me stay
i've been running everywhere
but the right way
and you're the only one to really love me at all
reflecting back onto that orange lake of ours
and looking through steamed windows
you're the only one to really love me at all

so look right into my eyes
you're standing there
i'm everything you have made me be
it's something i can't explain
it's so different now
those words seem so plain to me
but nothing could be more true
you've made me believe

i've broken every step to get here
i've taken every bridge back
but now i'd burn them all down for you
there were too many memories before
but now everything is so brand new
you're the only one to really love me at all

so look right into my eyes
you're standing there
i'm everything i've wanted for you
it's something i can't explain
it's so different now
those words seems so plain to me
but nothing could be more true
you've made me believe

and i see those prayers in your eyes
these aren't lies
and they aren't lines that just sound good
i'm on my knees
praying please
don't let this past become the only truth

so look right into my eyes
you're standing there
i'm everything you will ever need
it's something i can't explain
it's so different now
those words seem so plain to me
but nothing could be more true
you've made me believe

Worse than Rain

I pray for the rain to hit your window just right
I'm waiting for the day Noah tells you your lines
I'm dressed all out, hoping you won't hold back
It keeps me around knowing you won't ever say that

I've been waiting on the lights and my face to make you say
The words that make Allie Hamilton stay
I've kept myself around waiting for you to admit you love me
If only I'd known you needed a few beers to say the sweetest things

I swear Donne couldn't of ever been alone
I'm breaking the words down, pretending you'd written the poem
I'll spend every day just wishing for that moment in time
It'll pour down rain, and you'll tell me the perfect line

We spend our lives falling in love with fantasies.
I probably spent all my romance on frogs rather than kings.
Now, I'm trying to convert a atheist into a catholic saint
I'm committing sins to make even Heathcliff faint

I'd break the rules I've had since I was four-years-old
To chase you down, to have something I've never known.
It's sad that all we want is what we will never have
What's more sad is I understand, but I still want it so bad.

I'll chase you.
Baby, I'll chase you.
It's your job, but I'm always standing still.
I'll chase you.
You're suppose to run too.
I'm suppose to leave, but I never want to.

It's worse than rain
On a car
Watching planes

It's worse than anything.

I'll chase you.
Baby, I'll chase you.
Even though I know I'm not supposed to.
I'll chase you.
Even though you're supposed to.
I'll chase you so you won't ever have to.

Crashing Down

I spent my time
Following lines
Of lies that'll never come true
I just wanted to be with you
I only wanted to be with you

When you walked away
There was so much left to say
Of dreams that'll never come true
I just wanted to be with you
I only wanted to be with you

But now, it's all, but broken
The wounds, yet remain, open
I hear you speak, read your words
And I come crashing down
It's not fair... it's not fair.

I just want more
I'm done with this past
These broken scenes
Will never mean
The same old things

You can call, you can write
You can spend all your time
On words that'll never come true
I just want to move on from you
I only want to move on from you

I'm chasing these words
It's not longer action--just verbs
On subjects that can't understand
I just want to move on from you
I only want to move on from you

But now, it's all, but broken
The wounds, yet remain, open
I hear you speak, read your words
And I come crashing down
It's not fair... it's not fair.

I just want more
I'm done with this past
These broken scenes
Will never mean
The same old things

Shower Scenes

This cold rain
It's breaking through my skin
It's tearing down the glass
That I am locked up in

This steam, this ring
This all seems to fall so fast
I'm paying dues
To a fogged up, clouded past

And it's not like anyone never felt this way before
But somehow I can't bring myself to open up this door

You're just cloaked in red paint
You're just stoned from all the times you've ran away
And I'm holding close a notebook filled with black ink
I can't think
You're running away again

These minutes have
All taken the slowest breaths
I'm clinging
To all that you have abandoned and left

These ripped notes
The last moments that were true
I'm ready, yes I am--
I always did believe you

And it's not like anyone never felt this way before
But somehow I can't bring myself to open up this door

You're just cloaked in red paint
You're just stoned from all the times you've ran away
And I'm holding close a notebook filled with black ink
I can't think
You're running away again

A Song I Can't Remember

You took my hand,
The light from under the door cast our shadows long,
The silence was all we needed,
My beating heart was louder than any song.

You just pull me close.
One hand by my side as we rock along.
Our fingers intertwine
My beating heart was louder than any song.

And there, in your eyes
I see more than just blue
You're smiling, and I'm falling
I can hardle stand by the thought of you

You took my hand,
I know now, this isn't my last chance--
I know I'm glowing, I can't help showing
This is more than just a dance.

I may have asked first.
But you didn't have to say yes.
You saw surprise, fill my eyes
When you pull me to your chest.

You're captivating.
The way you hold me, it's all class.
I'm Audrey, Grace Kelly
And this is more than just a dance.

1987

She's breaking down now, she's breaking down now.

She'll keep that smile on
In hopes that she'll believe it.
She's got her beer
And her faith that she'll believe it.
Don't sweep too fast;
Keep the dishes in the sink.
She'll break you down,
She'll break you down so slowly.

And everything isn't everything she wanted.
I'm watching them, wondering
When did money become so important?
My mac & cheese
Bring me back to those days
Bring me back again.

She has her smile on
She's got him to believe him
Annie's on
She'll sing until she believes it.
Don't run through the house,
And our meals are all that matter.
She used to break down,
It always went so slowly.

And everything isn't everything she wanted.
I'm watching them, wondering
When did money become so important?
I used to climb trees
Bring me back to those days
Bring me back again.
Bring me back again.

Airplanes

It seems that all these dreams
They never take me anywhere
But laying in your arms tonight
Is taking me everywhere

And this airport is like the ones you see in the movies
Where he's chasing his lover as she's leaving
And when you look at me that way
I know I'm going to spend everyday
Chasing you; I gotta keep you from leaving

And when you tell me, you wish I was there
"It would of brought us closer,"
Well, baby, now you're everywhere

And I don't know, how I spent these days
At this airport, just watching the planes
And now in the night, I swear that one's a star
But you're telling me, it's not that far, it's not that far

You think that maybe, well just maybe,
You could take me that far
Please, take me far
"Don't leave me..." And now I'm begging...
I wonder if you ever see the everything you are to me.

I've told everyone before that I can't write about love
Until it falls apart, which it always does.
It's always so cheesy, I swear I've hear that before.
But no words can explain what happens when I open my door.
I am breathless, and I can't speak.
I wonder if you know that you make me weak.

The last man I gave my everything
Well he just walked away.
But even if you turned around right now,
It'd never be okay.
You're my last plane,
My last flight home.
This is that night at Sons.
This is that message on the phone.
This is next to a pond.
This is waking up with you.
This is the sun at the pool,
And our first dance too.

Don't walk away.
I hope I never miss you.
I hope I never miss you.
And if you walk away,
I'll be right behind you.
I swear I'll chase your plane.