A Song About While They're Gone

Baby girl can't help but to bare her soul
It's the only way to love she's ever known
And how to be loved

She's breaks this ride, takes this train
Rides the bus ride home
Even then in this hood she can feel his cold
He won't be coming home

Not tonight, not tomorrow
Not for three-six-five
She'll sit and wait, write the letters
Stare at stars on long midnight late drives
When will you be home?

And they don't write songs
About while they're gone
No songs about when they leave

I don't want to hear them say
He's not coming back--not coming home
He's gone away
I don't want to hear those songs
I don't want to hear them say
He's not at home, and I'm all alone
For the rest of these days
He's gone away

It's late and she's last to her bed tonight
The heart is warm and it's there
Bleeding into laptop lights
She's bleeding into the page

She writes the letters, sends the songs
Takes the pictures of home
Tries to remind him and her of the only love they've known
To travel into sand

And they don't write songs
About while they're gone
No songs about when they leave

I don't want to hear them say
He's not coming back--not coming home
He's gone away
I don't want to hear those songs
I don't want to hear them say
He's not at home, and I'm all alone
For the rest of these days
He's gone away

Meant to Be

It has nothing to do with the night we met
Because bar lights, they can be so deceiving
But when I became the princess in distress
You changed my tire and changed my feelings

Suddenly I belonged in your passenger
And suddently I belonged with you
In the moment you asked, "Can I come any closer?"
Is the moment in the dark that I knew
Yeah, I knew

I knew getting lost with you was better than safe anywhere else
I knew a slow dance and holding hands for no reason
I knew bar fights and dim lights and your truck late at night
Listening to Sammy Kershaw sing we were meant to be
Yeah, I knew we were meant to be

And on the weekend you'll drive hundreds of miles
Just so I can see you and not feel so alone
I'm always begging you to stay, you're always running late
But we both know this is better than the phone

When I wake in the night and you're holding me tight
I swear I can't stop staring at you
The way that you breathe, I want to remember everything
And in the dark I swear I knew
Yeah, I knew

I knew that a flat tire and some keys brought you to me
I knew dancing to Garth Brooks in my basement
I knew play fights and slow nights with movies and dim lights
Listening to Sammy Kershaw sing we were meant to be
Yeah, I knew we were meant to be

Kindred Spirits

I'm almost 21, and I call shotgun
We make the boys pile in the backseat
They buy the beer, but we have no fear
We'll find that keg and we'll raise up our feet
The sun's too hot, but the pool is cold
I swear I never want this summer to end
We're floating still, on an air mattress filled
We swear we were always meant to be best friends

We'll sing country songs
Til our alarms go off
I guess I'm sleeping through class today
As long as my bottle is full
And the cigarettes are near
It isn't a waste of a day
Let's say we're 21
Let's fight the sun
We're too young to be responsible
Let's get fucked up for as long as it takes
I don't want to stop 'til we graduate

Your 441

I turn the key
In the one thing
That'll push as hard as I want and won't hurt me
I heard her voice
After that dialtone
And I'm breathin' fire hotter than you've ever known

The light is red
But it ain't stoppin' me
My head was going as soon as I grabbed my key

441 ain't no road for stoppin'
But I'm about to make a scene
As soon as you hear your door unlockin'
I'm coming out swinging
I don't care if she ain't here
You best believe I ain't leavin'
My car is shooting off like a gun
To your unfaithful 441

His Front Porch

It's taking the rain real slow
To wash away all the things I didn't want to know
I prayed into a bottle again
Broken like the pieces you left until the end
I wake to reach for your taste
But nothing ever seems to let me let go
No...

I cried into dreams too many times
I swear I won't give you my all
I won't let you have what isn't left of me
My eyes won't let you see it at all
I cannot be fallen
I'll always be the girl on your front porch

The nights and lines are one
Blurring down the road reaching for the sun
I threw my heart away
Ain't much left of it since you left anyways

I cried into dreams too many times
I swear I won't give you my all
I won't let you see what isn't left of me
My eyes won't let you see in at all
I cannot be fallen
I'll always be the girl on his front porch

And please, light the match
Bring me your lighter, bring me back

I cried into dreams too many times
I swear I won't give you my all
I won't let you have what isn't left of me
My eyes won't let you in at all
I cannot be fallen
I'll always be the girl on his front porch

Cracks in the Ceiling

Watching the cracks in the ceiling
I swear they're coming down on me
That ceiling fan's wobblin' and weavin'
And I'm trying to remember how to breathe

I feel like I ought to be praying
Apologizing to God on my knees
No, I can't sleep and you're making weak
Watching the cracks in the ceiling

I'm a sinner, I swear, it's me
I wish I could run from it all
But the past will always bury me
And I can't recover from the fall

So here, right now, hear me
I'm sorry, I'm begging
Just give me one damn chance

I want to be something more than the woman
Who lost herself in three years flat
I'm buried, not beaten, and I'm gonna keep digging
Myself out of the grave I've made

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am

So leave me here, waiting and watching
I need to get out of the way
The cracks in the ceiling, they're coming for me
I can't remember if I'm breathing

The cracks in the ceiling, they're coming for me
And I can't remember if I'm breathing
But I know, I know, I'm kneeling.

Walk Away

I've gotta say I'm sorry for doing you wrong
You were right all along
Maybe I shouldn't' be here now
Maybe I should walk away now

I can't help but breathe you in
You're like the air, I swear
You've always been there
Maybe I shouldn't be here now
Maybe I should walk away now

But I can't stop, I can't stay
I can't do this, but I can't walk away
I'm so entrapped, I'm breathing rain
You're the one who kept me watching planes
I'm screaming country songs
And I know what Momma would say
But I swear I swear I swear I can't walk away

I didn't forget what those looks mean
I swear you can read me
Maybe I shouldn't be here now
Maybe I should walk away now

I can't help but give you everything I have
Its only natural to breathe
And as you can see, I'm losing me
Maybe I shouldn't be here now
Maybe I should look away now

But I can't stop, I can't stay
I can't do this, but I can't walk away
I'm so entrapped, I'm breathing rain
You're the one who kept me watching planes
I'm screaming country songs
And I know what Daddy would say
But I swear I swear I swear I can't walk away

Prove Me Wrong

Like a wave crash
It keeps coming back
The undertow is nothing I've ever seen before

And will I break my knees
Trying to crawl free?
I just want to be someone's only one

And I swear she was right when she said, "Girl, you'll never be the same again,"
And I swear to God I was right when I said I'd never fall again
And I'm praying please
I'm praying please
Prove me wrong.

My begging eyes
My stubborn pride
Nothing is winning but I'm losing now

I'm running away
But begging you to stay
Won't you please just chase me down?'

And I swear to God mom was right when she said I need to quit giving more
And I swear to God I was right when I said I would walk right out your door
And I'm praying please
I'm praying please
Prove me wrong.

Skinned Knees

I never meant to drag you down with me
I never meant to paint you in my past
But I can't help but hold on to all these damn bruises
I can't help but keep these faded pictures in my head

I can't even damn learn how to heal
So how can I be mad at old letters?
She may of loved you, you may have not
But it's okay, I've forgot
How to forget all they ever did
Which wasn't much but leave me in tears

I should of told you a long time ago
But we both swore to keep the past the past
And here I am digging up yours
Looking for an excuse
To stop loving you and shoot myself out of here

You tell me to stop worrying
I tell you it's all your damn fault
But it isn't you and it's all me and I can't help but not breathe
At the thought this really is all my fault
I suppose this really is my fault

He's still swinging in my head
Causing the mess I'm asking you to clean up
Don't take it all too personally
I'm only losing me and it ain't got a damn thing to do with you
I'm lost in everything I thought I knew

I want to just learn to love
Without begging for your help
I want to want you, not need you so bad
I suppose I've learned from my skinned knees
That people like to push on me
And I suppose you would do the same

Guess I'm the only one here to blame
Yes, I'm the only one who's here to blame

Keep on Waiting

You've got everything you've ever wanted
Sitting in one beat-up old red Ford
You're too busy looking in that rear view mirror
To realize you've got all you're lookin' for.

I'm watching all this gravel settle down on me
On the front porch of the place you call home
Waitin' on the man I used to brag about
To be here but to leave me all alone

You used to swear you were the lucky one
I could tell in the way your blue eyes shined
But now I feel like I'm always looking behind me
Waiting for that girl to cross your mind

She was a fast thing, a one time fling
Turned forever in your mind
I'm here now, but there's no tellin' how
Long I'm gonna keep waiting
She was a heartbreak, a big mistake
You can't stop talking about
I'm here now, but there's no tellin' how
Long I'm gonna keep on waiting
How long are you gonna leave me hanging?

You're sending me down old highway 29
Singing songs that you used to sing to me
Now I feel like there's nothing down this highway
But the remains of your broken memories

I know now, if I walked away you may chase me
You may swear you were wrong all this time
But if this all you have ever wanted
Why is it only on your drunken time?

I feel your past's shadow overhead now
Falling on your yard--it's about to pour
The dogs are barkin', and you're just talkin'
About someone who's not around anymore.

She was a fast thing, a one time fling
Turned forever in your mind
I'm here now, but there's no tellin' how
Long I'm gonna keep waiting
She was a heartbreak, a big mistake
You can't stop talking about
I'm here now, but there's no tellin' how
Long I'm gonna keep on waiting
How long are you gonna leave me hanging?

Lie my back against the grass
Life always moves too fast
Let's slow it down
Bring it all down

I can feel the sun pressing heat
Slide my flip flops off my feet
Let's slow it down
Bring it all down

I have never tasted skin
As sweet as the one you're in
I've never felt fingertips
Pressed on my thighs like this
You're too busy breakin' me down
To notice you're the only one around
I swear it's true
My head's only wrapped in you

Wind runs up your spine
While you're grasping mine
Let's slow it down
Bring it all down

Lips were built just for this
I'm lost in every kiss
Let's slow it down
Bring it all down

You swear you won't hurt me
I swear you're taking me
You swear this is all of you
I'm looking deep into your blue
You're too busy breakin' me down
To notice you're the only one around
I swear it's true
My head's wrapped up in you

I wake up, hands clutching grass
You're gone, this dream has past
It's gone too fast
Ended all too fast

Sit up, pretend I'll never need
Your body laying next to me
It's gone too fast
It ends all too fast.

Heart beat

Lay here in this thick grass
Breathe it into you and me
Let us bake in this moonlight
Lay my head upon your chest

Listen to your heart beat
Listen to your heart beat
I want it to be mine, because you have all mine
Listen to your heart beat
Listen to your heart beat
It's my song I'm always singin' in the back of my head

You count my toes--kiss my head
Brush the hair out of my eyes
I love the way you touch my skin
You lay your hands down my sides

Listen to your heart beat
Listen to your heart beat
I want it to be mine, because you have all mine
Listen to your heart beat
Listen to your heart beat
It's my song I'm always singin' in my car on my way home

I know you can see past my eyes
Asking me what I'm looking for
I don't know what it is
But I swear it is all in you

Listen to your heart beat
Listen to your heart beat
I want it to be mine, because you have all mine
Listen to your heart beat
Listen to your heart beat
It's the song I'm always singin' driving with the windows down

Untold

They don't make movies about people like us
I don't even understand how you do this to me
Sweep the hair out my face, sweep me off my feet
In the grass, in the moonlight, everything falls back
Asking me, what are you looking for?
I don't know, but I've found it in you
Lay here, lay here, I don't want to leave
Between your arms everything falls back

Shortcuts

Perhaps I need
To learn to let go
This fevered collection
Just only proves
I have holes
And cuts unfold
I can't breathe
This past suffocates me
I need to let these lines run free
I need to open phrases
I need to see in me
I have a strength, I have a peace
I have a heart inside me
Let it beat.

Too Much

It broke me down
The heavy stream
Of words, of verbs
Of what I did
It's holding me back
Holding my heart
I should of knew from the start

I loved too much
I gave too much
I trusted all your love
I could see
I was losing me
I should of known

I'm lost in layered lip gloss
In mascara and ripped jeans
I can't find anything I meant to say
I can't find what anything means
He sweeps hair out of my eyes
He breaks tears with fingertips
I can only pretend I am stronger than my tears
I can only pretend what this is
I wish I knew who you are talking to
Where you are and who you're with
Your car's parked outside my neighborhood
It's not really yours, but I pretend it is
I wish you missed me
I wish I didn't have to say goodbye
It's not fair as he kisses me
It's not fair he'll never be mine
Why do you have to give me these blues?
Why can't I just dream in bed?
Why is this life so damn ruined?
What is he doing in my head?

Kiss me please
I just want to forget it all
Make me believe
This past doesn't matter at all


I try to forget his red car
The rain and the docks
I try to forget the piles of letters
Laying heavy in me like rocks
I try to forget your planes and the way
You'd always make me smile
It isn't fair I can only pretend
And feel okay for a little while
Why did he touch the gun?
Why'd he have to go blue?
Why can't my father smile for a while?
Why did you make me leave you?
I am so broken--so empty
I don't know how to cry
I feel like I am breaking this man
I feel like I was just left to die

Don't leave me
I don't want to be left alone
Make me believe
This past doesn't matter at all

You read this as a cry for help
Like the pages of a tabloid magazine
You take these lines like a drug overdose
In a bathroom with the walls shown green
Can't I just let this page take these things
These words and memories?
Turn them away, send them out of my heart
Quit replaying all these damned broken scenes

God find me
I don't want to be alone
Make me believe
This past doesn't matter at all

I just want to pretend he's still alive
I want to believe you're still mine
I want to think he didn't mean to hurt me
I just pretend he actually liked me
I thought his words were like candy
Poisoned, but I couldn't see
Shining, pretty, tasting so damn good
But God--he poisoned me

Make me believe
I'm something more than all of this
Make me believe
This past doesn't matter at all
This past doesn't matter at all
This past does matter after all

Mute

Sun shines upon a blank face
You smile but you can't say
A damn thing
You have nothing

Your pretty lips stay sticky slick
Covered in peach-cherry-chocolate lipstick
You're pretty
Just so damn pretty

And they just want to know your name
And they just want you to scream their name

C'mon, baby, here's my car
Don't speak, don't put your seatbelt on
We'll just stay in this backseat
Where you won't need to speak
A damn thing
You're so damn pretty

Fake eyelashes flash pretty quick
You sure can drive a stick
Keep your shoes on, we're not far
I promise, baby, I'm a star
You're pretty
Just don't speak to me.

Broken.

Version One:

The Georgia weather
Leaves me confused
Stuck between
These seasons, these hues
A flash of yellow
Becomes overcome in gray
Flowers wilt
Midst a rainy day

You sent your words
Over an empty line
I tell the truth
You won't apologize
Another flower falls
On my linoleum floor
You can't let live
Something that never has before

A broken smile
A toss of hair
Under my breath,
"You're never there"
The beads I let
Lay between my hands
Only cut me down
With foggy plans

And I never thought I'd say no,
But God, I ran, and you pushed me off.

I wrote about bridges
I wrote about you
I wrote about planes
And chasing you
But I can't chase
Someone who isn't there
There is only this pen,
This desk, this broken chair.

I have some pictures
I have this place
I have some people
To brush the hair out my face
I have a pen
Some lyrics too
I have enough
To help me get over you

I thought these words
Would bring me tears
But I have my strengths
I have my beers
A broken glass
Still keeps some light
It reflects back
It spirals out in plain sight

Version Two:

These Georgian clouds
Leave me confused
Stuck slow between
These grays, these blues
A broken rain
Falls through soft green
The seasons turn
But are leaving me

You spoke your words
Over an empty line
I won't let go
You won't apologize
Another petal falls
Upon my linoleum floor
You can't let live
Something that hasn't before

A broken smile
A toss of hair
Under my breath,
"He doesn't care,"
I held between my palms
Your rosen beads
They cut into the bone
You let me bleed

And horses always must run free
You let wild horses drag you away

I wrote about bridges
I wrote about truth
I wrote about planes
And chasing you
But I can't chase
Someone who isn't there
There is only this pen
This desk, this broken chair

I have some pictures
I have this place
I have some people
To brush the hair out my face
I have a pen
Some lyrics too
I have enough
To help me get over you

I thought these words
Would bring me to tears
Like rain falling down
It'll always clear
A broken glass
Still keeps some light
It reflects back
It spirals out in plain sight

Version Three:

These Georgian clouds
Left me confused
Stuck slow between
These grays, these blues
A broken rain
Falls through soft green
The season turned
But is leaving me

You lay your words
On an empty line
I can't let go
You can't apolgize
Another fallen petal
Hits my floor
You can't let live
What hasn't before

A broken smile
A toss of hair
Under my breath,
"He didn't care,"
Between my palms
Lay rosen beads
The beads you let
Cut into me

And horses always must run free
You let wild horses drag you from me

I wrote down bridges
I wrote down flames
I wrote down chases
I wrote down planes
But I can't chase
Who isn't there
There's just ink
A desk, a broken chair

I have some pictures
I have this place
I have some people
Brushing hair from my face
I have this pen
Some lyrics, too.
I have enough
To get myself over you.

I thought these words
Would bring out tears
Like broken rain
It'll always clear
A broken glass
Still keeps some light
It reflects back
Upwards in torn sight.

You & Me.

It's a yellow slide
And our matching swings,
Four bare feet
Dangling in the wind.
We carved our names
in the backyard tree.
I'd lock you out the truck.
You still haven't forgave me.
We'd spend our days
With kickballs, calling for cars.
We'd spend our nights
Counting fireflies in our jars.

And nothing mattered
But our scraped knees
Staying on the block
And climbing trees
And nothing mattered but you and me.

Now we're so far away
From that sixth avenue heartbreak
Remember the paper mistletoe
You refused to take?
I spent my life
Watching you be the best
Now you're going to college
And I've already left
My last day
I felt so guilty
I knew I abandoned you
Hope you forgive me
Guess we'll never spend
Our days again as carefree
As our childhood days
Trying to climb that tree

And nothing matters
But your phone calls
Making sure you're okay
And random trips to the mall
And nothing matters
But being your best friend
And being the older sister
You can believe in
And nothing matters but you and me.

One

You were the one.
You were the one who let me down.
You were the one.
You were the one who I never found.
I broke my own heart, baby,
The day I let you let me down.

You are the one.
You are the one who can't move on.
You are the one.
You are the one who wrote this song.
I walked away,
But you were the one opening the door.

I can't ever say I regret a damn thing.
I did you right.
I did you right,
When you couldn't see it was killing me.
You saw too late.
You see it too late.

You were the one.
You were the one with the sharp tongue.
You were the one.
You were the one, and now I'm left with no one.
Baby, I wish it was my fault
That I had to leave you.

Sublime.

I've been praying for these to be the words
To bring you back to life
No verb, no sound, gives you justice
There is nothing I can write

But maybe a few more lines will spill out
Maybe I can make it speak
Of your jacket, your car, the way you are
The one night of sleep

I want to remember your voice
The way you opened doors
You walked right through
Nothing stopped you
And now it's all gone
I want to see your eyes again
Your smile woke me everyday
Our whispers, the liquor
I always miss it
When the Sublime vinyl plays

I cannot bring you back to life
With every ink stain
Nothing compares to your soul, your being
I can't write away this pain.

Bleed blue.

Breakin' through these mountains fast
A steal away from buried past
When everything whispers his lost name
When colors scream and people blame
To take it back, would it be I
Who points fingers, let words fly?
I can not help but breathe in guilt
I can not help but miss the voice,
his hands,
his shirt.
I can not help but miss him
I can not help them.
If red can scream, it yells in you
It breaks my skin
As you bleed blue
I pray in your syllables
Every voice answers
I hear your name--face
I'm lost, I lost the chase
I can not, will not, escape your past
Weaving through these mountains, fast.

Shadowplay.

Slow dances in the dark
Shadows play across the sheets
Recalling old broken hearts
Being burnt out by the heat
A firelight--a soft glow
A thousand sharp points ahead
We take our drags, a thousand slow
Keep the lights off on our bed

Take me now, take me please
I swear this is all I ever need
A night drive and my best friend
Let's promise to not let this end
I swear you are all I ever need
Take me please.

You stay.

You're taking me slow
Through the turns.
You're playing with my fire
Without leaving me with burns.
I say I can't sleep
So you stay.
You're the beads between my palms
Pressed together as I pray.

I thought you'd never follow,
But through these thorns and fire
You're walking right beside me
Holding my hand--You stay, you stay.

I broke promises,
That may be,
But your picture stand still
On my nightstand as I sleep.
I may run
Like horses free,
But you're my stable; you're my home,
The place I need to be.

I thought you'd drown in my tears,
But you're pulling me onshore.
I'm waves upon your beach.
Loving me--You stay, you stay.

You're everything I'll ever need.

listen.

It's not like you weren't there
Pounding on my guilt
You sang me slow old songs
I hold on--you're my rock

I keep asking, staying angry
But I can't say these words to you
How dare I question your judgement?
You're who I came from

But why can't you sacrifice?
Why can't you share?
Why am I so alone?
Why can't you understand?

You've never seen me
You've never ever listened
I'm blinded by your light
Why are you the only one right?

I keep telling myself to suck it up
You've left me so alone
I guess I'm old enough
To let you go, but I still listen.

Let yourself go.

You never know really what you want
So you want it all
You talk until everyone has heard it all
How's it like falling?

You just want to get high tonight
You won't let yourself go tonight

Is it your fault you're so alone?
I can't decide which side to take
You never want to stay when you're not alone
You're stuck in this last past

You just let me go alone tonight
Why won't you just wake up tonight?

It's not the same, I'm torn two ways
You're waking up next to me
Is this everything you've wanted--
A life filled with nothing important?

Now you shut more doors and close
Those eyes behind you
We're staring at something we can't see
Show who you're meant to be

You just need to wake up tonight
Let yourself go out tonight

grammar.

It's a sudden shock
Clear blue
Pure
A deep sign
It holds me
Close
Closer
I fall around us
More than page breaks
Punctuation
And pure ink
More than verbs
Nouns, clauses
I close off

blunt.

it's undermining every breath i take
it's the light in my eyes as i wake
this car crash of a heart
it won't even start
pushing back the shower curtain
it's sitting there, it's pulling open
i pretend not to see
what you're telling me

and i am running farther than i should from you
and i am praying in every moment i'm missing you
i'm missing you

i'll pretend
and i'll wait
for you to really hit my face
and i'll
i'll forget to see
how everything is a memory

bring me back
those couches and the wine
the classes and our time
his wrinkled nose
and your house you chose
bring me back
your smile and your breath
i can't handle death
i though you knew

you took with you everything
we can't even breath
you're haunting me

bring me back
the projects and the green
the movies and my dream
the turntable
and peeled beer lables
bring me back
your smile and your breath
i can't handle death
i thought you knew
i thought you knew

well now you know
now you know
i'm missing you
i'm missing you
i am running farther than i should from you
i am praying in every moment i'm missing you
i'm missing you

mirror

turn around and let's realize
you're the only one to make me stay
i've been running everywhere
but the right way
and you're the only one to really love me at all
reflecting back onto that orange lake of ours
and looking through steamed windows
you're the only one to really love me at all

so look right into my eyes
you're standing there
i'm everything you have made me be
it's something i can't explain
it's so different now
those words seem so plain to me
but nothing could be more true
you've made me believe

i've broken every step to get here
i've taken every bridge back
but now i'd burn them all down for you
there were too many memories before
but now everything is so brand new
you're the only one to really love me at all

so look right into my eyes
you're standing there
i'm everything i've wanted for you
it's something i can't explain
it's so different now
those words seems so plain to me
but nothing could be more true
you've made me believe

and i see those prayers in your eyes
these aren't lies
and they aren't lines that just sound good
i'm on my knees
praying please
don't let this past become the only truth

so look right into my eyes
you're standing there
i'm everything you will ever need
it's something i can't explain
it's so different now
those words seem so plain to me
but nothing could be more true
you've made me believe